18 years ago yesterday I became a Mum, we became parents for the first time. We'd left it a little later than most although it felt the right time for us (if we'd known then that 3 of the little critters would come along we would have maybe started earlier).
I was 30 and the builder was 35, we'd been married around 5 years but had lived together for nearer 13, we never rush anything as you can tell from our house renovations, 22 years and counting! Up until then I hadn't been sure about having children at all but we decided to try just one small one. We were very well prepared, the nursery was beautifully decorated in Laura Ashley lemon & clown border (placed just at that easy-to-rip-off height), I'd shopped for both maternity clothes and baby clothes, I'd read all the books & bought all manner of accessories
(most of which were no help whatsoever!) - so not really prepared in any useful way!
My pregnancy had been text book, I'd glowed, had gorgeous wavy, glossy hair although at the end I positively bloomed - tipping the scales at just over 13 stone when I'd started at 9 stone!
I'd filled the freezer with food (which we later realised when we needed to live on it was all cake, I'd been thinking about entertaining guests!), I'd touched up the decorating and had cleaned & hoovered the house to within an inch of it's life.
The baby was due on February 29th, it was a leap year, but by March 2nd I was a bit fed up, I like things on time and organised (well I did then)
I had chronic back pain and was unable to sleep in the last couple of days,
the text book pregnancy was distinctly pear shaped from here on in,
as was I (maybe apple shaped, with legs?!)
On around the 2nd, or maybe the 3rd I felt my waters had started to leak so went into hospital, only to be told my waters were intact and maybe I had a weak bladder - I was mortified!
Two more days of pain in hospital where The Builder kept me company most days with his packed lunch, I tried many pain killers and the Tens machine but nothing helped much and still no baby. I said hello and goodbye to many new mums in the next door bed during that time.
Eventually on March 5th they realised that my waters were leaking quite a lot and my bladder was perfectly fine (THANK YOU!) so they decided to try to progress my labour, the pain got worse but nothing else happened. At this point I asked for an epidural, I'm not very brave!
By afternoon the doctor visited, sat on the edge of the bed and gently said "we need to look at alternative ways to deliver this baby" - in my drugged and exhausted state I was completely confused - how many ways are there to deliver a baby?? Anyway he had to explain that the only other way was by c-section - thank goodness for that I was a little concerned
where this baby was going to come out of. It was in fact an emergency as the baby was in distress but I wasn't told any of this until I was expecting Number 2.
Our baby boy arrived at 5.30pm, in our usual unemotional selves (or was it exhaustion) the Builder and I looked at each other and said "at least he's not too ugly" There were raised eyebrows from midwives I remember!
|just call me Deidre Barlow!|
He was a very healthy 9lb 4oz and he screamed, and screamed -
he carried on screaming for 9 weeks and I remember every second of it!
My maternal instincts took quite a few weeks to kick in, I don't think I was depressed just completely shell shocked. I struggled with everything from feeding (breast and bottle) to sleep and all routines in general. He was very stroppy and it only started to come together when he went into a big cot, in his own room, with the door shut and started on "illegal" solids at just 9 weeks (didn't dare tell the health visitor!) At that point he seemed to give a sigh of relief, smile and look like he'd been trying to tell us what he wanted for weeks!
Since then we've never looked back really, he was a stroppy toddler and I did introduce him to the toddler group with the words " This is Number 1, he may bite you"
|Butter wouldn't melt....|
He is very insular and self contained, but quietly determined and confident. He likes his own company and loves a good book, I know he'll love to write in the future too (when he's feeling less lazy) - he is so like me it's annoying!
He's sporty and capable something which is generally assumed he inherits from his Dad's side, however there are a substantial amount of sports achievements on my side of the family too, just none from me.
He is thoughtful and kind, for Christmas he bought me three cd's of bands and singers he thought I'd like having heard them at Reading festival,
he often recommends books to me which he thinks I'll enjoy.
We are so very proud of him.
as his birthday dawned we were unsure what gift to buy, ideally I wanted to get him -
the world on a stick
some sugar bonbons
however we have a limited budget and got him a watch! We also made him a family collage of photos to take to Uni with him, so he doesn't forget us!
He has had a trip to New York and a custom made cricket bat in the weeks between Christmas and now and the bank account is empty. He was happy with all he got though, he's nearly always happy.
The coming year will be a whole new start for him as he goes to University in October and lives away from home for the first time - apart from his "lads holiday" in June - God help us!
|Having his ..ahem...first beer!|
He really is a super son!