Friday, 3 October 2014

When the cat's away.....

It's been a stressful week (when isn't it?) . Number 1 son has sent more text messages and emails (from all 3 of his email accounts) sometimes all coming at the same time (that boy can certainly multi-task) than I can count. There's hardly been time to move away from a screen...he's needed his medical form (it was in his bag) he needed his online banking details (it was in a folder marked banking; in his bag) he needed more books, could we possibly order them (who's paying?) He needed more contact lenses, could we possibly post them (why didn't he take them all, they're the size of a pea (almost)). Could we post the phone charger, a shirt and more other things than I can count!
 He's also made me feel incredibly guilty as he's turning into me
(not in a sex change kind of way!) and is worrying about everything.
 He was worried that if he joined the gym he wouldn't know how to use the equipment, but if he went with a gym-tastic friend who did know he'd look silly. 
When he did join the gym he sent many texts to say he thought he'd joined the wrong gym
 (there are 2 main one's on campus) and he'd also paid the wrong fee!

He's worried that the course is far too hard and everyone else understands it except him. He was worried that he was too hungover to follow the first lecture (who's fault is that?) 
He has worried about absolutely everything.....just like I do! He's wanted to change the course, drop out (but not leave his halls and come home) and run away and hide. Today he seems like he may have turned a corner and I've had fewer messages and all of them a little  happier. 
It's not stopped me worrying though!!

It was a tough week at work too, I know I'm not full time but it still felt like a very long week.
I still have no clue what I'm doing and very many letters landed on my desk on Monday from unhappy clients! It did (after a sleepless night) turn out to be an error at the other end of the line and nothing to do with me (or the company I work for!) When one of my colleagues showed me the heap of letters she had also from clients I must admit to blurting out "I'm so pleased!".

And then my dear Gran has been taken poorly again, and spent another night in hospital. I had a message from my Dad to say he was on his way from Wales with the rest of the dragons in tow and would I meet him there. Luckily now I no longer have a school run to do I could manage the hour and a half journey there to coincide with his arrival - 
she was being discharged from hospital and being taken back to her care home. 
He'd been told by the doctor that time was very short and if we wanted to visit it would be best to do so sooner rather than later. I'd made a decision some time ago that my children had seen her for the last time, I preferred them to remember the Gran they've always known, the one who chased The Builder around the room with her stick when he dared to suggest she'd bought her house newly built - it was built around 1900! I can't believe that it's not quite 12 months since my visit to her, when she was noticeably more frail and a little confused. We had a few giggles but I was worried about leaving her. She had insisted on that trip that I give her a new hair-do, "being that you're a hairdresser" (I've never been a hairdresser!) and also introduced me to her neighbour as "my Grandaughter who's got 3 sons you know".

She's been at the care home for most of this year, and has deteriorated an awful lot, I guess it's not a surprise as she is 94, but it's not so nice to see. She seems to be mentally in quite a happy place as she believes she's out in the car on day trips most days!
Gran with her son, his 2 daughters and 1 of her great-grandaughters -
I'm the short-arse in the middle at the back - I'm the product of a 5' Mum and a 6'4" Dad

Anyway she was delivered back from the hospital and in true Gran style sat up at the table and wolfed down sausage and mash, strawberry cheesecake and a mug of tea! 
We had a nice chat and then I left as she dozed; it was a good visit and I know
 there won't be many more.

But this weekend is all about ME!
The Builder is away to Butlins with 9 friends to boogie (or more likely drink) his way around a dance floor with a cheesy 80's backdrop of bands 
(some real, some look-a-likey). 
It's an excuse to unwind and he does need it; 
it's very much a case of "what happens in Skegness, stays in Skegness"!
I may ridicule the venue, I do, many, many times! But we did have a very nice Christmas break there as a family a few years ago, the kids enjoyed it but we were sworn to secrecy -
we must never, ever, tell their friends!
So if you know any of their friends please feel free to drop it into conversation......

And while the cat is away, what should the mouse do? Well I've cleaned the house and fumigated his pile of grubby work clothes. I've invited a friend and her boys over tonight, and another friend over tomorrow evening when Little Miss also has a sleepover for her 2 best friends.
We're having a takeaway tonight, and then maybe a spot of pudding!!


and it wouldn't be a proper meal without chocolate would it?

Anyone want to join my pudding club?

Actually I may call off the friends visiting, send the kids to bed early and have a weekend alone.....just me and my sweet tooth.....

Well that is if I survive the weekend without being shipped off to A & E (rest assured I'd grab the banoffee pie on the way out), I've just gone the length of my bedroom a la skating on ice!
It appears that The Builder sprayed his shoes with Mr Sheen polish before he left (he is good, he cleans them every year!) and he seems to have sprayed the floor
(and not wiped it up) - the floorboards are as skiddy as a glacier! 

44 comments:

  1. I hope that you have a great weekend and that your Gran is as well as she can be. xx

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    Replies
    1. I had a very relaxing weekend thank you Amy.

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  2. I'm wishing the best for your grandma, and hoping your son relaxes and gets things sorted out at school, too.
    Enjoy the treats--you deserve a little fun while you stay back and mind the ranch!

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    1. It was a good weekend thank you, I did have to do the cricket run on Sunday evening though!

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  3. Hi Jay, have a wonderful weekend! Sounds like a lot of fun :o)
    TRY not to worry about number 1 son - I'm certain he'll be just fine by this time next week!
    Thank you for your sweet comments.
    Sending hugs
    Rose H
    xx

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Rose, we're hearing a lot less from him now - I think it's falling into place!

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  4. Oh my, we have been getting lots of replies to our texts and emails and one long skype call concerning online banking! My son's usually a whittler but I think because his girlfriend is at uni with him, she will have been first port of call for the questions! Hope things are settling down for him as it will have been a worry for you, I can imagine.
    That Polish is lethal!

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    Replies
    1. We had hundreds of messages one way or another Trish, I never knew he valued our opinion before this! I hope Rory has settled in well.

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  5. Stop cleaning and cooking, just have fun. Your son sounds so funny, typical male, but he'll survive.
    Hope you have a great weekend.

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    Replies
    1. I had to cook just so I could eat it all, and I did!

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  6. Worry as you do, it all sounds healthily normal for your son...we've had tearful calls too about not having budgeted properly...and about having to 'buy books out of my own savings account'...ahem! we all sat around while the sums were done....and then the call about how no-one in the flat cleans up and there are ants and she does all the work....the princess has turned into cinderella...she barely lifted a finger at home and the shock of running a kitchen/flat is huge. What we don't hear are what the photos on fb tell us, the parties, society meetings, dancing, student lock out days. Like you I will always worry, but I am glad she comes to me when she is struggling. I think more and more it is likely to be the only time we hear from her!!.
    Anyway, have a fab girlie weekend and enjoy those yummy looking cakes.
    Your gran looks like a sweetheart x

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    Replies
    1. Gran is indeed a sweetheart Liz! In a way I am pleased he calls us for advice and obviously values our opinions.

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  7. I'm having a vision of the future! I'm sure my son will be just the same. Your Gran sure has a healthy appetite! Is she president of your pudding club? Can I join? Lol. Jx

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    Replies
    1. You would be very welcome to join the pudding club, and Gran would have loved it too!

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  8. That's quite a week Jay! I do hope things settle down for No.1 son, it must be such a huge thing to move out and start at university. I'm sorry to hear about your gran's deterioration. We went through something similar with my other's half mother, who had a stroke at the end of last year and died in the summer. It was hard to watch her getting weaker and less able to communicate. It sounds like you have a good weekend planned, I do hope you have a fantastic time. Hard not to with all of that pudding I think! CJ xx

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    Replies
    1. It's such a shame that Gran is no longer her sprightly self but that's not a surprise given her age- you obviously know what it's like CJ.
      The puddings were good, I even had some banoffee pie for breakfast on Saturday!

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  9. Looks like a lovely visit with your Gran♥️
    Hope your son is settling in.....and down!
    Enjoy your "me" time....
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

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    Replies
    1. I'm not sure he's settled down but he seems to have settled in - sounds like a lively lifestyle!

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  10. Such a massive post, Jay! Fear not about your son, he is experiencing what EVERY one does, except some folks hide it better. Very soon you will be texting him to ask why he has not texted you for a week......

    Your remarks about your gran sound very like my thoughts about my mum, who is nearly 93, but not quite at the stage your gran is at ...though approaching it steadily

    I chuckled about what happens at Skegness stays at Skegness! Very sensible. I hope you have a brilliant and indulgent weekend with your friends . Lxx

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    1. Thank you Lynne, I had a nice time with friends and cake! I know Gran won't improve but I hope she remains in that happy place.

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  11. Oh my so much going on, I think you need a break this weekend and I am glad you are getting it. Number 1 son will feel his way and soon think nothing of his gym membership, classes or hangovers. He will get it and then the text messages will stop and you will wonder what has happened to him. I made the same decision with my Mom when she was deteriorating, my sons did not need to see her that way, I want them to remember her in a better light. Hope you have enjoyed your weekend,
    Meredith

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    1. Thank you Meredith, it's reassuring that you made the same decision with your children and your Mom, I really wasn't sure. I think Number 1 has settled down a bit now, although the nights out don't seem to have!

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  12. Well I hope your weekend was fun and relaxing - sounds like you really need it. I'm sure your Son will be fine once he finds his feet. Your Gran's appetite is surely a good sign that she is healthier than she may appear. Hope all your bones are intact lol!!!

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    1. Ha yes I 've not broken a bone yet but the floor remains lethal!

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  13. My dad, who lives with us, is 86. He has a great appetite! I think he eats more than me or my husband.

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    1. Gran's always had a good appetite, she loved a Devonshire cream tea, it's a shame she's not too good but she's done so well up to recently.

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  14. I always remember on holiday with my nan all my dad kept saying was 'she like her food doesn't she' or 'doesn't she eat alot'... bless her!

    I hope your son is finding his feet at uni. I never went but I can only imagine how often I'd have been on the phone to my mum!

    Victoria
    FlorenceandMary.com

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  15. I'm sure things will settle down for your son at uni. Daniel went through the same thing last year wondering if he was on the right course. He loved uni and didn't want to come home but seriously doubted his ability course wise. He soon settled down though, I think it's just nerves when they first go, coupled with a touch of homesickness. Your gran's a great age, but no matter how old they get, it's still a shock to see them start to deteriorate. I hope you have lots more happy visits with her.

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    1. We're suddenly hearing a lot less from him, I think it's going to be ok!

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  16. I want to send my best wishes for your entire family dear Jay. I am finally up to date on your blog and I've had a lovely morning reading your posts accompanied by a cuppa and a slice of banana bread (which was delicious may I add). I hope you enjoyed your me-time without any errors, or if you had the visitors, that you had a good time with them. Number 1 son will do fine, I'm sure. Your Gran is a fantastic lady, I remember the first post you wrote with her in it and the photo of her with the two glasses. I remember thinking "I hope I'm like her when I reach that age!" I still do!

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  17. I'm laughing at the thought of your husband cleaning his shoes with Mr Sheen and leaving a potentially deadly trail in his wake!
    I hope things settle for No.1 son at uni; it's such an adjustment to make but I do hope he hangs in there.
    And sending best wishes for your Gran as well. xx

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  18. I hope your son has settled in and is happier at Uni. I smiled at your Gran chasing the builder with her stick! Sorry to hear she has been into hospital again and moments with her are so precious. Sarah x

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  19. Wow, that is quite the week all right. At least he's organised enough to text - and he's a good delegator! My eldest at home orders something all the time - every day it's ding dong UPS with random stuff arriving.
    What a lovely pic of your family. Would love to join your pudding club if someone else could make them. My fave is steamed pudding with custard - could I put my order in?

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  20. oh your son sounds adorable for worrying so much..
    hope your grandmother feels better

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  21. Blimey, what a week! Your son will settle, I am sure, it's good that he's reaching out to you when he's worried rather than bottling it all up. But how stressful for you. I hope you are enjoying a relaxed, indulgent weekend full of food and friendship. x

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  22. Just think before mobile phones, your son would have to have joined a queue to get to a phone !
    Your Gran sounds delightful - Bless her x

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  23. Lovely photos of you all, you are all so pretty. My uncle Fred just died aged 93 and he was chipper till the end. Both of us have longevity in our family.
    We've just looked through the kids texts and now I wish I hadn't.. e took the phone off one (and her concentration has improved 200 percent and she seems happier.)
    The eldest was doing 10 texts an hour at least during class, more after school and we blocked it during those hours.
    these jolly phones are a curse!!! and I can never get hold of them anyway

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  24. I hope everything is ok there with you and your family.
    I bet all those cakes were enjoyed by all who shared them!
    Lisa x

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