A Fashion Post

Not your normal fashion post I have to admit, if you clicked over here expecting some photos of very well put together outfits and links to fashion houses and chic boutiques I'd recommend you click away now!

I have mentioned before that I do not have one fashionable bone in my body, I just don't get it! I can't do it! I may see something in a shop window or catalogue and buy it, I have to buy the whole outfit as I can't seem to put things together very well. The phrase "capsule wardrobe" is completely lost on me. How do you mix and match very few items to create many different looks?

If I buy an outfit I wear it, often without looking in a mirror; I am the mum who gets out of the car outside school and then realises that I've come out in very mismatched items, always ill fitting (either too small or too big but never just right!). The outfit is pretty much always teamed with socks (I love socks) or flip flops in Summer, and comfy shoes, occasionally slippers! I have a penchant for leggings (I know I know) matched with ankle boots, given that I'm a little top heavy I probably look a little like Max Wall!

I have slightly different hair!

I was prompted to write this, it's not a cry for help, I'm past caring, when I stepped out of the car at school last week and realised that the sweater I had on was badly faded (and not evenly faded) and the trousers were too short. Sadly I teamed them with suede espadrilles which didn't match at all, luckily I had left off the socks that day - I arrived at school, where the playground has plenty of glamorous mums, and realised how dreadful I looked - this may be bad enough but I'd been at work all day in that outfit!!

I am also an ebay addict too, most of my clothes come from there, I love a bargain although it's debateable how much of a bargain it is when it doesn't fit or doesn't suit you (I wear it anyway!) Just last week I was browsing the bikinis online (new I should add not second hand- eugh!) and came across an expensive range being sold at knock down prices, I find it hard to buy swimsuits as my top and bottom are completely different sizes. Anyway this particular range is available separately and comes in bra sizes - perfect for me. I sought advice from the Little Miss Fashionista (who isn't much better than me it has to be said). She looked at the picture, she looked at me then back at the picture, then gravely shook her head, she then went on, obviously trying to make me feel better "it would look lovely on Dee though!" Dee is a young, glamorous mum from the playground!

My best friend has sneaked into my bedroom before now and thrown clothes away, my much maligned rugby shirt no less - I know it was spattered with paint but had lots more wear in it I'm sure. She has also taken me shopping and asked the assistant to not let me out of the changing room until I was wearing a new outfit. She proceeded to throw things into the cubicle until she was satisfied I looked ok! She did once insist I went for a bra fitting, much to my embarrassment! In the cubicle I went and, as I stood naked apart from my knickers, waiting for the assistant to return, all the fire alarms went off and the tannoy announced that we had to evacuate the building!

 My friend is still convinced I pressed the alarm!

On our last holiday, the unforgettable trip to Cuba, I had dieted for some weeks and lost around 10lb, just enough  - not my pre baby weight but looking good I thought! Because of this I treated myself to a new bikini from a shop specialising in designs for the slightly top-heavy lady. The navy two piece was gorgeous and had jewels stitched on, I wasn't sure if I was a blingy type of person but, given the weight loss I thought it looked great. I wore it all the time, and on the day we went pony trekking I had it on under my T-shirt. Sadly what no one told me until I saw the photos was that all you could see through the T-shirt were the jewels! I looked like I either had far too many nipples or maybe leprosy! I doubt I'll wear it again.......

So please bare with me if I post very few pictures of myself, but I think you'll recognise me should we ever bump into each other in the street! I guess you'll probably cross over to the other side if you see me but hey ho you won't be the first!

As a footnote (ha ha) I do have one very understated but chic and glamorous item in my wardrobe, well two actually. I think you'll agree that this ebay find is just right, perfectly ok to wear with anything, dress them up or down, you can never go wrong with sparkly shoes can you??